The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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