If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
don't judge my taste in strippers
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
