I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
