I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
