ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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