That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
