New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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