Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
that's an acceptable place to lick
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
