So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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