it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
