I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
