The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
