I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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