Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
