I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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