He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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