You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
