I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
