I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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