operation harelip BJ is a go
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
