So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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