Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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