I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
