Non-Jews are for practice
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
then he tried to convert me to islam
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
