So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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