she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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