I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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