If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
