FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Alive.
So much puke
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
