Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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