Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
