I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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