i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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