So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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