Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
