watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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