Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
