I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
organizing the empties. That sober.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
