Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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