i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
