So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
