4 words: hood of his car
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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