We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
