it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
