She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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