Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
