Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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