it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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