the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
