didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize