I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
this boner is exhausting
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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