No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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