Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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