Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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