big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
