How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize