At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
