I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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