Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
