so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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