apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
